Habits
by Juneychan
Summary: After everything they've been through, some habits may change, and some may not. For better or worse, love or hurt, they both choose to stay. Moments collection/Fluff/Horror/Humor anything about mad love.
1. Sleeping

**A/N:** Hey guys! This is my first fanfiction to this fandom so I'm a bit nervous. This is series of oneshots about how Harley and Joker's relationship evolve through changes in everyday habits around each other, set after events of the movie. PLEASE let me know what you think and any suggestion is very much welcomed!

 **Disclaimer:** The characters belong to DC comics and WB studio.

Rated T for language

.

[ SLEEPING HABITS ]

.

It wasn't all bad being an insomniac, and as a crime lord, no harm could come from staying alert. But some nights he wished he didn't have to wake up too soon before the alarm and deal with, well...things.

Especially since sleeping had become more and more pleasant, with a warm body for a change beside him. Her body.

The Joker woke up from a series of thrilling dreams, full of explosions and pooling blood, and the Bat begging him for mercy. He smirked to himself, half-asleep brain already forming the next plan for his next encounter with Batman. He was about to drift back to sleep when a whimper caught his attention. Harley was laying on her back, far away from him at the edge of their king size bed. He frown, usually it was him who had to try to get away from her embrace to get different sleeping positions. She never stayed too far away from his reach.

Harley tossed and turned, sweating more and gasping louder with each passing second. Joker stayed still, sat up on his elbow and waited. They weren't strangers to messed up dreams, they both had their turns at kicking and hitting each other in their sleep. When it got too much for Joker, Harley would gently stroke his back and shoulder, try to calm him down, planting kisses on him and say all sweet nothings that would make him cringe and yelled at her if he was fully awake. It never stopped her, though. As for Harley, she never got much affection when she was the cause of his disturbance. Joker just elbowed her or pushed her away to snap her out of it, after that he would turn away until she decided to settle down then allow her to scoot back near him.

This time though, he watched her with a contemplating look. Unfamiliar urges tingling inside that he couldn't quite make out. He didn't feel like shutting her down or feel any irritation like he thought he would.

Harley cried out weakly, losing the fight to the enemy in her dream. The faint light made her damped skin looked ghostly, glistened with lines of tears rolling down her face. He sighed, thinking of where the nightmare tonight came from - Belle Reve, of course. He had broken her out of there more than 2 months ago and helped her got revenge on every scum who had laid a hand on her. Then, they had spent weeks just cooped up in rooms or whatever corner they could find and be all over each other. From tender honeymoon love-making to crazy animalistic fucking, desperate to make up for lost time. Weeks after, they had gone back to wrecking havoc on Gotham but this time double the fun and the damages. Banks and shops emptied, the police helpless while the people suffered, the whole underworld shaken with fear and the Batman had only managed to stop them once. But that because they hadn't been able to stop ravishing each other after stealing all the money and having the vault all to themselves.

The Joker did everything to fill the void separation had left them. He made her happy, gave her everything she asked. But he guessed the trauma from her time in prison and Midway city hadn't quite gone yet.

Then another cry from Harley made his mind go dark and his heart dropped.

"I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me...I'm sorry..." She made a choking sound "Mr. J please..."

He froze.

Then suddenly his shoulders shook slightly with small laughter, but his teeth gritted and his eyes showed no sign of humor.

Of course he was the worst devil of them all.

He should have known.

His hands clenched into fists, fingers digging so hard blood slipped out but he felt nothing.

Harley Quinn - the little monster he created - could single handedly take down any group of trained soldiers, blow up buildings and showed no sign of hesitation, and had fought against an ancient witch without fear, but crumbled under the abuse of one man.

Not that the Joker was any man.

Harley was sobbing so hard, but kept biting her lips to stifle the sounds. Like she always did at times he hit her for too long her crying turned from pleasure to annoyance to his ears and her punishments would hit harder. The Joker enjoyed pain, but he hated weakness, Harley knew that. So she endured, and then smiled and did whatever he wanted just to show him she had learned her lesson and keep him pleased.

He had thought he was incapable of guilt until now it hit him like knives cutting every inch of him up from the inside.

He should have known.

Slowly, hesitated at first, mindful of the blood on his palm, he reached down and brushed back her hair, thumb tracing circles on her forehead. She jerked away at first but he whispered softly to her, mimicking all those things she used to say to him that he used to hate. Or maybe, tried to hate.

"Sshh...It's okay. It's alright baby..."

 _But what is okay and what is alright to us anyway..._

"Nothing can hurt you now..." He said.

 _Even me._

Harley sighed, finally calmed down a bit and leaned into his touch. Joker gently sneaked his arms beneath her and lift her back to the center of the bed. Careful of startling her, he watched closely as her face and body relaxed and set her down next to him. He put an arm around her to pull her close but froze when Harley gave a small whimper. He thought she would try to pull away. It surprised him when instead she turned her head to rest on his chest. Like an instinct of seeking safety, snuggled up close to him and let out a contented sigh, the corner of her mouth quirk up a bit.

Before, after hitting her, he would also sweet-talk and hold her just to keep falling further under his control. Yet she believed it every time.

Maybe he was the one being fooled, by himself. What if they weren't just to manipulate her after all. If anything their separation had taught him - was that he cared. He hated to admit it but he cared a whole lot about her safety and her happiness. He hadn't wanted her back just to have his favorite toy back. He needed her back not because of pride or points to prove. He just...cared. Simple as that, about her and her alone, nothing else mattered.

How come admitting that was so hard?

He had almost gone broken all those months feeling the emptiness she left behind and beating himself up with possibilities of what could have been. He had blindly killed, wrecked without reason anyone and anything when the thought of her getting hurt had hit him. And yet here they were.

Guess he had learned how to welcome, to surrender to these new feelings and changes.

And surrender became power. Power turned back to fuel desires.

His desire to keep her safe.

In his arms, her breaths evened.

He settled down, wrapped his arm around her sleeping form, holding her tight. His other hand came up to brush the remaining tears from her face while he planted a kiss to her forehead.

They slept soundly, surrendered to bitter-sweet blissfulness and each other.

.

Next morning, Harley woke up all giggly and refreshed. She had slept so deep last night she couldn't remember her dreams, only the fact that she opened her eyes to a feeling of over-whelming happiness and safety in the arms of Joker.

.

As Harley looked in the mirror when she got up to shower, she noticed some dried blood shaped like finger marks on her shoulder and arms where his hands had been. Instinctively, she checked the rest of her body of any sign of injuries, trying to remember if anything had happened last night, maybe she had done something that set him off...

"It's not your blood."

"Puddin'?" She jump, turned over to look at him leaning against the bathroom door. "Then whose..."

Joker turned away before she could finish her question.

"Nothing will hurt you now." He said as he walked out of the room.

"Eh? What was it you say? Puddin'?" She called after him, extremely confused but he was long gone.


	2. Attention-seeking & playing

A/N: Thank you so much for the favs/follows and reviews! I'm so touched. Thank you thank you!

I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter! XOXOXO

 _._

 _"He says, close your eyes  
Sometimes it helps  
And then I get a scary thought  
That he's here, means he's never lost_

 _...  
I know that I must pass this test  
So just pull the trigger"_

 _Russian Roulette - Rihanna_

 _._

[ATTENTION-SEEKING AND PLAYING HABITS]

 _._

The Joker wasn't known as a patient man. While he could spend hours, days, or years obsessing and working constantly over some few selective goals, he got frustrated the minute his surroundings ran out of things to entertain him. And hell, his demands were high.

With people, his attention span was even shorter. He got bored the minute they stopped offering him surprises or usefulness on aspects he expected. He figured people out in no time at all, even in the city of infamous psychotic criminals.

Everything was a game to him and with games he never wanted to lose or came back having no fun from them. And when he had nothing else to look forward to, those people were as good as dead, most of them literally.

Sometimes, when any of those people who caught his attention, stayed a bit longer than they should, Harley would have so much fun silently, with psychologically skillfulness, helped them reach their expiration day sooner.

Because it irritated her a lot, while she was confident that she had the Joker's complete devotion in love and lust...

 _He doesn't know what love is and you know that._

 _SHUT UP!_

...the men were most likely the ones getting his attention outside their bedroom.

 _Just business._ \- A voice tried to comfort her.

 _Yeah but some can seriously challenge him in power and wits and of course he's super excited about challenges_.

So, she either flashed a bit of skin here and there for them to fall for her trap and slip out their undeniable lust. Or she would over-reacted her childish display and test their temper. One sign of disrespecting for her, and BANG.

Sometimes she whispered to the Joker facts she picked up herself, pushing further about how boring and useless the other party actually were.

Sometimes she would just take care of them herself. The Joker didn't need weaklings, he always said.

And sometimes, she could just say she didn't like 'em.

When the person were too troublesome or not worth the kill, the Joker simply stop bothering.

For example, he hardly bothered to talk politely to Penguin or even spare the limping man a glance anymore, after Mr. Cobblepot had begun to fall far behind in wealth and power.

He deadpanned everything the Riddler said, having figured out all his tricks and patterns.

Scarecrow fit his nickname, really nothing but a harmless, pathetic doll. He was just poor little whiney Jonathan. Now the guy knew better than to be anywhere near the real devil.

Two-Face lasted quite awhile. Harley thought it was cute when Two-Face distant himself from Joker on his own accords, apparently envy Harley for stealing Joker's attention every time she stepped in during their meetings. Harley could swear more than once she saw him pout, well, half of his face did the pouting anyway.

Yes, to Joker it was all games and jokes. What was the point of playing with if they were no longer fun?

They all expired sooner or later, and Harley would remain to the Joker as the one, the only.

Except for one single person: The Batman.

 _Stupid annoying Batman. -_ The voices in Harley's head grunted.

The Joker only grew more and more intrigued by the Batman, obsessing over him, dedicated his life playing cat and mouse with him. Each encounter set Joker's entire being on fire. If he lost he would laugh it off and got back up even stronger, crueler. If he won that time then God bless anything that was part of his celebration. And that damn Bat always refused to stay down for good. The harder the Joker the tougher the Bat, their dance endless.

The Joker just couldn't get enough of Batman. Like the guy gave him a whole new meaning to live, to thrive, to fight, to PLAY.

Harley waited, and waited for him to grow tired of stiff, grumpy, humor-dry Batsy. She also enjoyed herself and played along, supporting him in this game with all her mind and body, but her heart just couldn't take it anymore.

.

"But Puddiiiiinnnn..." Harley whined loudly. She was sprawling out on the sofa in his office. Her hair and makeup were a mess but her gorgeous silver dress not at all shifted. They were making out so intensely then he got up all of a sudden and literally jump to his desk across the room and started typing on the computer and going through blue prints and documents like nothing else existed.

"Another time Harley, I'm busy." He let out a laugh, eyes still glued to the screen. "This would be my greatest joke yet for dear Batsy."

She grunted and began to slam her hands and kick her feet angrily.

"Really? Now? C'mon Puddin' it was getting so good!"

"This it better." He replied blankly.

 _Oh really now?_

She snatched up his jacket on the floor, buried her face in it while letting out a piercing screech.

"Please Puddin' I'm so sad. Come play with me. You like me happy don't you?" She batted her lashes and licked her lips seductively. "And happy baby, happy daddy."

No respond.

Her face darkened. Thinking about bringing up Amanda Waller - the woman he swore to hunt down and kill. Or maybe her bestie Ivy (that he hated but had eventually allowed her to spend time with in a strict amount of time), or Deadshot. That could get him really jealous!

But she shook the thoughts away. She couldn't tear his attention from Batman by sticking it to another person. It had to be her and her alone.

Harley stood up and walked around the room. Stomping loudly and knocking things down on purpose.

"Oh look if it isn't the crystal skull you won at the auction last night." She picked up the skull on the shelf. "I wonder what would...OOPSIE!"

The skull slipped from her hands and hit the floor, shattered to pieces.

"Oh no!" Her shock dramatic. "I'm such a bad girl. Now daddy has to stop all his work to punish me!"

Silence.

This time was definitely tougher than the previous. Joker's attention was completely belonged to whatever it was he had going on. Like he didn't even notice or just didn't care anymore, not even the slightest about Harley's constant disturbance. He was so focus he didn't even bother to tell her off even once. Whatever she threw at him he would just ignore and only respond if she mentioned Batman, but his answers were robotic.

"Mitah J I hate Batsy."

"Yeah." He said still not looking up.

"Mistah J I caught Batsy staring at my ass the other day." She cried out.

"Good taste." He retorted.

 _OH REALLY NOW?!_

Under all the chaos, Harley could actually be very patient. But now her patience was wearing thin.

She walked around his chair to stand behind him and pressed her chest against his muscular back. She kissed his neck and her hands roam from his shoulders down his chest. She started to unbutton his shirt and she smiled victoriously when he relaxed his arms, let her take it off for him. But he was still looking at the computer.

Her fingers traced his tattoos slowly, her nails slightly scratch over his flesh.

"Puddin..." She purred and licked his earlobe.

After she slipped his shirt out completely his hands immediately flew back to the keyboard.

"Thanks hon. I was getting hot." The Joker said in an answering-machine-like tone.

"I know...Wait what?"

He continued his work like all her touching and purring weren't there at all.

Typing. More typing.

Writing. More writing.

 _Much focus. Very intense. Wow._

"OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Harley screamed, throwing her hands up in the air.

She stormed out the office and slammed the door hard behind her. The sound echoed throughout their mansion. But just as quickly, she opened it again and yelled in "Guess I will have to take care of myself then!" She knew he hated when she touched herself without his permission.

No respond.

She growled and slammed the door again.

.

Flustered but not ready to give up just yet, Harley went to the weapon room and picked out a small, elegant knife that she'd been eyeing for awhile. She smiled devilishly. It fit nicely in her grab and the weigh was perfect for any flicks and flexes of her wrist. The Joker loved his knives and all the things he could do with them. And Harley knew just how he wanted to play.

.

She entered the office again to see him exactly where she'd left him.

Just like the Joker was hypnotized. His eyes hardly blinked and his hands never stopped moving over the keyboard.

She licked her lips and strolled towards his desk. She eyed him for a moment before hoisting herself up to sit on the desk next to his computer. She might be entering a dangerous zone but the reward could be worth it. Taking a deep breath Harley pulled up her right leg, still wearing sparkling 6-inch heels and put in under his chin. She then used it to turn his head around forcefully, making him look up to face her.

"Harley what the hell!?" He snapped back to reality, irritation shown harshly on his face.

 _Finally some real reaction._

Before he could say another word Harley pointed the tip of the knife at his neck. Smiling wickedly she slowly pulled it back, licking the small knife seductively. Her heart drumming in her chest. His eyes followed as she trailed it from her neck to her stomach and hovering over her left thigh. She pressed it to her inner thigh and beamed at him, noticing how his eyes went dark.

But before the tip could pierce her skin his hand shot up and grab her wrist.

"No." He said.

Breath caught in her throat and her heart stopped at the way Joker was looking at her.

His gaze burning, piercing through her very soul. There was fire shimmering underneath those blue grey orbs, yet it seemed so subtle. Harley couldn't make out what was it that he was trying to say to her. But with that she felt pain and shame surging through her.

Joker pried the knife away from her hand and set it down.

Harley noticed the way his fingers slightly brushed over hers.

He held her gaze for awhile.

Then, he went right back to work as if nothing had happened at all.

.

Back in their bedroom, Harley sat on the floor, head rested on the edge of the bed. She sighed loudly as she took another gulp from the bottle of whiskey. The liquid burned down her throat.

"Stupid mistah J..." She hiccupped.

The reason Harley was so pissed off, was that they had been back together for only 3 months after Belle Reve, and everything was going so well. Joker had been so gentle and caring towards her lately she nearly died from swooning several times. Then, in a blink of an eye Joker was back to Batsy again. Had he forgotten Batsy had been the reason they got separated for almost a year? A damn fucking dreadful year!

And by the look of it, whatever he was planning seemed more like a cruel prank to tick the Bat off rather than to really hurt him. So they were on again with their back and forth games.

No way, Harley wanted the Joker all to herself now. They deserved that. She deserved that.

Harley took another gulp of whiskey, looking down at her thighs and traced the poke-and-stick tattoos she gave herself in prison. They were all Puddin' this and Puddin' that, like scribbles from a notebook of a lovesick school girl. There was a line that read "I will wait forever". The memory stung a bit. She had been so depressed after another round of rough treatment from the guards. But the thought of the Joker busting her out, sweeping her off her feet and killing everyone had kept her going all along. For him she would do anything, she could wait forever.

Not tonight though.

She sobbed, couldn't stop tears from streaming down her face. Maybe her dramatic personality was taking over, maybe it was the alcohol. She couldn't help it. She had missed him so damn much. The fear of him being dead and them never seeing each other again was still haunting her. And right now once again it came back. Harley needed him with her, now. Along with all of that, she also feared his abusive tendencies would come back too. She loved him no matter what but the blissful tenderness and treasuring was only temporary? So after all they'd been through nothing would change at all?

The voices in her head started to go wide as her visions began to get blurry, things morphing and popping before her eyes. The whiskey was having a strong effect and she had already drunk a lot of other stuffs before. But she didn't give a damn.

She growled and finished the rest of the bottle in one go and threw it across the room. It flew and knocked something down from the stool, before colliding with the wall and shattered. Which caught her attention and she walked towards it, stumbling a bit.

She bent down and saw a revolver. The one they had planned to use the other night on one of the henchmen who had had the guts to talk back to him. The Joker readied the gun but before he could have his fun the coward had already realized his mistake and had taken his own life by jumping off the balcony, not wanting to suffer any of the Joker's torturing methods.

So the revolver remained untouched, waiting for another chance to play the most classic gangster game.

Harley picked it up.

.

The Joker's entire brain was on high focus. His hands were busy trying to keep up with ideas flowing out from his brain. But the heat remaining on his finger tips from his touch with Harley earlier distracted him quite a bit. Joker tried to shook it off. Whatever could wait. He was getting so close, he could tell. Only a few more steps and...

BANG!

.

He yanked the door out to find Harley sitting on their bed. Her eyes cloudy, head thrown back and she kept laughing manically. Smoke floating from the revolver in her hands.

On the wall, there was a drawing of a cartoon Batman made of dark lipstick and eyeliner pencils. There was a hole between his eyes where Harley had fired.

Scanning the room quickly, it wasn't hard for Joker to tell what had been going on. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Harley, put the gun down." He said solemnly.

"Nuh uh!" She pouted.

"Harley!" He growled, stepping forward but stopped in his tracks as she raised the gun again.

"One for Batsy..." She giggled madly, but bitterness filled her voice. "Batsy always gets it."

Joker's eyes widened for a second as Harley pressed the gun to side of her head and pulled the trigger. Only a 'click' sound came out. She laughed.

He stood still, watching her intensely as Harley continued to giggle. This time, aiming the gun at her throat, her breath hitched as once again only a 'click' came out.

They stared at each other, orbs clashing.

Harley smiled widely and spread her legs, revealing her innocent white lace thong. She slid the gun down and started trailing circles around, then moved up and down along her entrance, rubbing harder and harder. The heat of the barrel burning her sensitive area through the thin fabric but she didn't care. She picked up the pace. She moaned loudly as she pressed hard down her clit and at the same time pulled the trigger. Nothing but yet another faint 'click' and the wetness started soaking through.

She noticed his jaw clenched and his knuckles white as his fists gripped tightly. His eyes bored into hers. Rage sparkling frantically yet he still waited for her to go on with her performance.

 _Always had such high respect for games._

Suddenly she tore her eyes from him. Her head slumped and her eyes empty, her smile disappeared. She pulled the gun up and pressed the barrel to her chest, right at her heart.

"And zero for Harley..."

Before she could pull the trigger or do anything else Joker was already pinning her down and snatched the gun away. He threw it harshly and grabbed her hands above her head.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He exclaimed. His chest lifting with heavy breaths.

Harley felt tears welling up her eyes again. She broke. Crying out like a child.

Joker stared at her dumbfounded.

He released her wrists. He didn't know what else to do yet. But when Harley felt him shifting she panicked and pulled him down crashing their lips together. To her relief he groaned and returned the kiss. They kissed deeply, tongues wrestling for dominance. He bit her bottom lip and she moaned. He licked the tears from her cheeks and slammed his mouth on hers again.

When they had to pull away for breath, one hand held her chin, the other gripped her hair, forcing her to look at him.

"Don't ever do anything like that again." He said firmly. Eyes filled with unreadable emotions. Anger, yes. And...hurt? His voice an impossible mixture of demanding and...pleading...

"But Puddin..."

He growled and silenced her by another bruising kiss.

"Puddin..." Harley managed to gasp as his hands started roaming all over her. "You know that gun..."

"I know." He grunted. "It only had one bullet in and you've already given it to Batsy over there."

He continued to attack her with frantic grabbing, squeezing of his hands and hot nipping, licking of lips and tongue. She hissed out as he bit down her throat.

"Th-then why..." She stuttered.

"I just don't like you putting yourself in harm's way." He looked deep in her eyes. "Games or not."

Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open. She could feel her heart pounding insanely and the voices sang in choir a long "Aaaaaaaaawwwwwwww!"

She cried out in over-whelming happiness and hugged him tightly, knocking the air out of him. Her arms wrapped around his neck and her legs around his hips.

She pulled away slightly to smile warmly at him and nodded her head apologetically. He smirked, shaking his head in defeat.

"You're impossible." The Joker mumbled, tearing off her clothes.

She laughed out, and soon enough, he joined her.

Harley won.

.

A/N: HAHAHA...!

Yes this was inspired by the Russian Roulette scene in 'Gotham' the tv series. Cameron Monaghan is absolutely brilliant as the young Joker in it. Seriously he should be swimming in Emmys right now. If you haven't seen it check it out now! XD

Anyway, please review and I'll see you guys soon!

*Blush and crawl back into my coffin*


	3. Choices

.

.

He remembered when he'd got sweet Dr. Quinzel into playing this little game. She'd joined him with childlike excitement, laughing instead of remaining neutral and professional, doodling instead of taking notes. She'd made it almost too easy to have her wrapped around his fingers.

Harley still insisted on this sometimes. Most of the time the Joker got super pissed off and told Harley to go fuck herself. Other times he got super turned on and told her to go fuck him.

"Green or purple?"

"Urgh..." He growled. "Pink or blue?"

"You can't answer with a question!"

They bickered for awhile and somehow both ended up with red.

"Electricity or fire?"

"Electrocute someone til they're on fire." He said dreamily, continued to clean his knives.

She nodded in agreement.

"Halloween or Christmas?"

It didn't really matter much since everyday was holiday to them. But after Harley's videos and pictures at Midway city got leaked out on the internet, her look and outfit at that time went crazy viral. Joker shuddered at the thought of everyone dressing up at Harley this year. Suffocate to death by Harleys-but-not-Harley? Might not be as wonderful as one would imagine.

"Christmas."

"So I can sit on ya lap and ask for gifts?" Harley beamed, sitting up on the bed.

"If you can stay a good girl til then." He glared.

"Boobs or butts?" She hummed and sashayed to his spot on the floor. His eyes immediately followed her movements.

"You're making me choose?" He sounded convincingly hurt. "Now you're not just bad, you're cruel."

"Top or bottom?" She breathed and started undressing.

He dropped whatever he was doing.

.

"Catwoman or Poison Ivy?"

Joker didn't like it one bit about Ivy kept trying to steal Harley away from him.

But then again, Catwoman always captured Batsy's attention more.

Harley threw herself at him and tackled him back onto the bed before he could go track down and kill her two best friends.

.

"Flash or Green Arrow?"

Joker hated them both. Probably from their choices of colors. But he went with the Flash, since the Arrow guy had become sort of a Batman-ripped-off lately. Why couldn't these guys settle for one sidekick and one woman only, like him?

.

"Hickeys or bruises?" Harley breathlessly asked after round three.

"Huhm...Scratches." He said, motioning to his back where her nails had raked all over.

"Kitties or puppies?" Harley managed between kisses.

"Titties." He mumbled.

"You're not listening are you?"

"Whut?"

Round four.

.

.

"You drive or I drive?" Long batting lashes and lips pursed. She swayed in her tight mini dress and he was sure he'd been cursed.

He groaned. It was more like a request. Couldn't she just say it straight out?

Harley had had their Lambo crashed into a few stores, run through a flee market snatching any cute item in their way, and slammed the shiny purple car against a tree, bringing down a trapped kitten, before they reached their destination.

If Joker could cry he would.

.

"Love or hate?" Harley sang and fired her favorite customized gun. The cylinder span the word 'love' out.

She sprung around and kissed him.

Next shot, it was 'hate'.

She still kissed him anyway.

.

 _She's even crazier than him._

He'd laugh at that statement, but now he wasn't so sure.

"Pudding or panna cotta?"

"The second one."

"Oh..." Her face dropped.

"What now?"

"You don't like pudding, I see..." Her irises went wide. "So Puddin' doesn't like pudding that means Puddin' doesn't like being called Puddin' and he hates being Puddin' that's why he doesn't want pudding..." She drifted to one of her frenzy states. Mumbling and pulling at her hair.

"Oh for crying out loud we're talking about dessert not your stupid pet name!"

"HOW COME YOU DON'T WANT PUDDING, PUDDIN'? "

He shot the waiter who'd suggested panna cotta.

"Get all the damn puddings out here!" He yelled and fired more shots at the ceiling. Harley wiped her crocodile tears and clapped.

Gotham had had the worst experience with sugar high clowns.

.

"Fireworks or grenades?" She screamed as they sped through the streets.

His answer was drowned out by the colorful booming explosions thundering all around.

.

"Mallet or bat?" Harley frowned, refusing to move until she made the choice.

Joker was about to tell her whichever was fine until the Batman signal shined through the clouds. He flashed his silver teeth.

"Let's go bat the Bat, baby."

.

They both made choices based mostly on their instincts, or feelings at the time. But when it came to the Joker, Harley got pretty predictable - she'd try to pick whatever pleased him. The Joker, on the other hand, when it came to Harley, he just felt screwed no matter what.

"Batman or Harley?"

She lay on top of him, looking glorious naked and glistened with sweat. He kissed her long and hard, hoping to make her forget the damn question.

But she had to be so stubborn.

Joker couldn't even remember what his answer was. But after what seemed like a miserable eternity, she would only allow him near her after he had altered the Bat symbol light into a heart with "Harley + Puddin" written inside.

He was glad it only lasted for like five minutes until the GCPD turned it off and had it replaced.

.

Theirs were madness as madness ever could be.

Though everyone and everything had limits.

"You're way out of line this time!" He slammed her hard against the wall. "I might just kill you right now..." He growled darkly.

"Quick or slow?" She challenged.

"Slow. I'll make sure it's gonna be worth it." He tightened his grip around her throat.

"Sweet!" She grinned. "Now..." She locked their eyes despite her vision started to fade. "...Or never!?"

Their breaths heating, touches burning, chemicals scorching...

They would always cross the line, then eventually draw themselves a new line, and then cross it too.

Questions.

Answers.

Choices.

Repeat...

.

.

"Hey Puddin' what would ya choose between..."

"OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE SHUT UP HARLEY!"

.

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 _ **A/N:**_ LOL sorry for the lack of updates. I've had many chapters drafted out but I've been quite busy drawing lately. Anyways I really like this kind of idea. Leave ya feedbacks and if you have prompts and suggestions let me know! The possibilities are endless! XOXOXO


	4. Inabilities

_**A/N:**_ _Thank you for the love. I'll be back with prompts and gifts._

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 **[ Inabilities ]**

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"What can I do for you?" He asked, out of the blue, taken her by surprise like he wanted.

She blushed and readjusted her glasses. Stiffened with confusion but melted by his charm.

"W-we have made great progress in such a short amount of time, mister J. As your doctor nothing would make me happier than seeing you...feeling...better." She stammered those last words.

He snickered. Piercing the young psychiatrist with his uncanny gaze, and as if unintentionally, he leaned forward, radiating power while in his restrain, his head tilted up and dark red lips parted slightly.

And she gave in to that power. Like being devoured by instinct and pulled by impulse. She moved with him, reaching across the table separating them, tearing the lines, breaking the rules...

Their lips met.

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"What can I do for you?" She asked, already filled with determination. The voices kept reminding her of their different statuses in vain. Though her moral compass had already been bent before that.

But then he smiled.

Why did he have to smile like that and now somehow she couldn't help smiling back at him. He began to talk and she knew from the start it was the devil speaking, yet defying all senses she drank in every word.

She blamed her heart, but love was never to blame.

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"What can I do for you, _doctor_?" His voice awfully smooth with mockery.

"Let me in..." She said, desperately.

He laughed in her face.

She pointed a gun to his face.

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"What can I do for ya, Puddin?" She giggled nonstop on their way back from Ace chemical, stripped off her old self and glistening with anew, gluing herself to his side, deeply and madly in love with him. And he found himself exhilarated, along with many other unsettling feelings.

She had promised him her life, her entire being, and her heart.

 _His_ Harley Quinn.

"Well, let's see..." He laughed manically, and soon she joined.

She felt liberating and invincible and everything was possible.

He, for the first time, with her growing impact on him, felt _weak._

Such foreign feelings she had caused in him.

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"What _can't_ I do for you?" He asked one day, barely a whisper. Both of them covered in so much blood.

They had killed the bird. They had killed Robin. Now Batman was all alone and they still had each other.

"Nothing, Puddin!" Wide eyes, wider smile, she said. "I have everything I want right here with me."

"Damn right."

Money, power, laughter, each other...

Their laughter only faded when their mouths and battered bodies began crushing, and melting against one another.

Nothing they couldn't do, nothing they couldn't have.

With him, she felt whole, and high, and free...Like never before.

 _And he shouldn't be feeling weak._

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He felt his heartbeat drummed harder. Blazing grey eyes and burning temper, his blood boiling in every vein. She had the ability to set him on fire. His body, his mind ignited and ready to burst. Yet deep inside the dark fun land place he called a heart, he was sinking. _Hurting._

So bad.

All because of her.

The sight drove him mad. The blood on her face wouldn't stop dripping and her lips painted deeper crimson, swollen and bruised. She sat tattered and disheveled on his bed, broken nails between her teeth as she tried to bit back her hysteria. She glowed brighter with cuts and bruises all over her tiny body, but her mind darker than ever before. And she was pulling him in that darkness, one that even he wouldn't want to go.

 _Weakness._

She held tightly the baby jumpsuits, refusing to let go.

And with her every shiver, she shook him to the core.

He took her right there and then, with her blood still on his hands and baby clothes still in hers. And despite it all she opened everything to him like always; her arms, her legs, and her heart.

With his hands around her neck, they stared at each other, grinning still. But her eyes grew misty, tears fell, not just from the lack of oxygen.

She could hardly breathe, but he didn't even notice himself stop breathing.

"What _can't_ I do for you?"

She had him, she shouldn't be needing anything else.

"Nothing, mister J..."

"Then why?" He exploded, one tiny move close to snapping her neck. "Why can't you let them go?"

"...Because you can't either."

He collapsed on top of her.

They passed out. Their loss had passed away. And the joke passed on.

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Numb and empty and barely conscious, yet no amount of alcohol or pills or killing could get him the satisfaction he had been seeking.

The gun twisting in his fingers, aimless.

"What can I do?" He talked to her, but again like last time and the time before that, she never talked back. "Tell me, tell me what you want me to do." He felt every power stripped away and every joy slipping away. Meaningless. "I'd do anything for you..."

She loved pain, guns and knives he could give her.

She wanted pleasure, bottles and roses he could give her.

He should be capable of anything, he had been incapable of weakness. A clown with no laughter, a king without his queen, he couldn't take it anymore. She shouldn't be doing this to him.

Yet, among circles of her pictures, her belongings, weapons and tokens and everything that reminded him of her, nothing could get his damn brain to give him the slightest imaginary of her actually being here.

"Where are you, you Looney Tune?"

He felt so weak, so weak...but he would give her the world...

And he fell on his back, chesty laughter heaved out heavily without a sign of humor. The gun left his cold hand.

He would give away anything to hear her laugh, to have her vexing him and sending his twisted world upside down again and again, to have her do whatever she want that he used to think he hate, to have her clutching the baby clothes and cry and this time he'd be by her side...

"Your Puddin wants you..." Like a lost child, he admitted, and if possible - felt himself died a little bit more.

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After everything, she was still his and right where she belonged.

They were home.

 _She felt powerful and wild and loved._

 _He just felt weak._

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 _But with her, he thought it might not be so bad after all._

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"Puddin..." She caught him as he let himself sink into her arms. His face was damped and his body shaking but his arms went tightly around her waists, afraid of letting go.

"Puddin" She hushed and stroked his hair ever so gently, kissing his damped cheek. "What can I do for you?" Never quite seen him like this before, she too was afraid. Lost and frenzied, mad and vulnerable. But nothing would make her let him go now.

He said something, but his voice hoarse and muffled.

"You know your Harley would do anything for you." She knew he could hear the smile in her voice.

And she did what he asked.

She held him.

He asked her not to go. She thought it was silly, it wasn't like she ever could.

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"What can I do?"

"What _can't_ you do?"

And again, they laughed.

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